CHANGES

I'm a creature of habit.  I'm not a big fan of change.  God has really been challenging me with that lately.  Seems like anything that could possibly change HAS!  I can actually say that these changes are very exciting for me and I am trying my best to happily go about my days of change.  I am trying very hard NOT to take my normal, control-freakish stance and be anxious about every step of these changes.  I am trying to just let them evolve and let God's plan for my family work out however He best sees fit.  Some of the changes that are going on right now are:

• Starting a new, very different job!
• Leaving behind an old workplace & tying up all loose ends there.
• Saying goodbye to some very dear co-workers.
• Finalizing a new mortgage agreement.
• Moving to a new house!
• Renting out (or selling) our old house.
• Enrolling Ali in school for the fall.
• Figuring out a new schedule for our time with Jake & his school.
• Nick finishing his Associate's Degree this Winter.
• And just adjusting to all of these changes!

I have realized that there is no possible way I could do all of these things on my own (or even with my amazing hubby taking care of 85% of them!).  I am a woman of faith, but right now, in this trying time, I am laying this all on the big guy & letting the chips fall as they may.  My friends have asked me if I'm just "so stressed out" about all these changes.  And, while it is overwhelming when I sit and think about it (or list it out), I can honestly say that I am at peace with all of this and that I know God will provide the solutions we need, when we need them.

This mind set is a pretty huge deal for me.  I'm a perfectionist.  I am known to be anxious.  I like things done my way and on my schedule.  I like to have a plan & stick to that plan.  (My oldest daughter, Ali, was the beginning of ruining that little false-hope that I had clung to........she came 5 weeks early & all I could say when my water broke at work was "But it's FEBRUARY.  I'm having an APRIL baby".  Remember, Tina?)  I would even say that I am a control freak.  Yes.  I admit it.

With all of that being said, here's also what I know.....
I know that God is good (actually VERY good) to my family.  We are blessed beyond what I can even fathom.  We have 3 beautiful, healthy, intelligent, funny, loving, & simply wonderful children.  We have a marriage that gives me strength, love, joy, and confidence every day.   We have a steady income and $ is never an issue for us.  Just when I start to worry about bills or $ in accounts, something comes through and we're fine!  We have wonderful extended families that are supportive, loving, and generous in so many ways.  And we have our church.  Our wonderful family of fellow believers who inspire us to be better Christians and to have a real relationship with God.  


I also know that God will meet all my needs according to His plan.  I know that He has made my path and that He is guiding me in the ways He wants me to become.  


Before my interview for my new job (which I felt very under-qualified for), I prayed that God would give me the words to speak during the interview and that I could be His tool for whatever plan He wanted to come of this.  The next evening, I received a phone call that I was the top candidate out of 23 applicants (4 of which were interviewed).  I was astounded.  I had applied on a whim, never thinking I'd be offered such a great opportunity, and here I am, about to embark on a crazy new adventure.  So now, one of my next hurdles will be to lay my struggles in my new job on Him and seek His guidance through all of those trials.  


But 1 question remains:
Do you think He has much experience with teacher unions???
 

Tooth Fairy Theory............

Jake and I had a discussion about the tooth fairy today.  It all started last night with him losing another baby tooth.  This afternoon, I found a new tooth had just come through in Alina's mouth.......taking her to a grand total of 3 little teethies so far!  Jake and I started talking about baby teeth and losing teeth and the tooth fairy.  We came up with a theory that I think is pretty good.........."Every time a big boy (or girl) loses a tooth, a little boy (or girl) gets one!"  Furthermore, the tooth fairy takes the big child's tooth and gives it to the little child.   

(Today's theory reminds me of the "Every time a bell rings, and angel gets its wings" idea I've heard before.)

House Hunting

Perhaps you've heard the story of the man caught in a flood who had a deep faith in God. As the flood waters rose, his neighbors told him, "You have to leave, the flood is going to wash everything away."

Calmly, the man replied, "It's not a problem, God will save me."

As the waters continued to rise to the second floor of the man's house, a boat came by with rescuers. They said, "Quickly, get in, the flood is going to wash everything away."

Again the man replied, "It's not a problem, God will save me."

As the flood worsened, the man was forced to climb onto the roof of his home. A helicopter came, threw down a ladder, and the rescuers said, "Climb up. The flood is about to wash everything away."

One more time, the man said, "It's not a problem, God will save me."

Finally, the flood washed everything away, and the man drowned.

When he reached heaven, he saw God. The first thing he asked was, "Lord, I was so certain you would save me, what happened?"

Very perplexed, God said to the man, "I just don't know, I sent neighbors, a boat and a helicopter to save you."

That's how I feel right now with my house hunt.  My husband & I have been praying for God to help us find a proper home that will sustain us for many years.  We have a (long) list of must-haves and a small(ish) budget.  This requires some compromise which is diffcult for 2 stubborn people to do.

The first house we saw was too big.  4000 sq ft, plus a full basement, built in 1880.

The second house was too subdivision-y.  No pole barn.  Gorgeous inside, iffy outside.

The third house we saw was a nightmare.  Loved the location & the property.  Would have to redo SO much of the house, it is too scary to try!

The 4th house was too 80s.  Knotty pine only belongs in some places!  Not 100% of the house!

The 5th house was almost perfect, just didn't have a basement & had 5 acres of land but with horse paddocks, which aren't of use to us.

The 6th house was lovely.  I'm in love with it.  2500 sq ft colonial. 5 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, full basement, pole barn, loely porch & deck, 2 car garage.  Only 1 acre, but on a dirt road & surrounded by fields.  Has the feel of lots of land, but we wouldn't have to care for it. Of course my husband hates it.

He claims we haven't found the perfect house & we need to pray about it more.  I'm wondering if God isn't just up there banging His head against a wall thinking "I sent you 1 house & it's too big, 2nd is too small, 3rd is too run own, 4th is too 80s, 5th is too small, & 6th is too ???  What more could you want?!"

:-(  To say the least, I am discouraged & want to give up except that I don't want to stay in this house 1 day longer than I have to!!!

All Dressed for Gma's House!

This morning, I got Ali dressed to go to Gma R's house & she insisted on wearing her new "Little Miss Naughy" outfit with her matching book bag.  She also insisted on wearing her cowboy boots & the crown from a Burger King Happy Meal.  I just love her sense of style! <3

How do I say goodbye???

Dearest Gma:
I just wanted you to know how dearly you are loved.  You are truly a woman of grace and have been a quiet, loving inspiration to everyone whom you've met.  You have been an idol of motherhood and your children all adore you.  You are amazing.  A true gift from God above.  I am glad that He will get to be with you soon, but I am so sad that my girls will never get to know you as I have.  I may not see you often, but you are always thought of with love and admiration.  I pray that when you get to Heaven, you will get to see Pa right away,  that you may have a joyful reunion.  I pray that your body be fixed from all pain and be restored, as the Bible says it will be.  I can only imagine you in Heaven, carefree, pain free. I am thankful that you are a woman of faith.  I have seen God working through you to touch those around you.  You are a kind, loving woman, and I have been blessed to call you my grandma.

I will never forget my childhood visits to your house on Sundays.  Chop suey, spaghetti, angel food cake, pickles, rolls; food has never tasted as good as when we ate at your house.  Gma I love you.  I love going to your house, playing your old piano, all out of tune.  Listening to your birds chirp and cackle away.  Walking to the pond and seeing new wonders of nature.  Salamanders in the woods.  A deer in the pond.  Geese that chased Amanda and bit the backs of her knees as she ran screaming to the house.  The little slide by the pond.  The old row boat.  The old dog "Blu" in the dog house.  The glider swing out back that we spent so many visits relaxing on.  Spinning in the cushy black chair that was Pa's.  Playing checkers with Pa and NEVER EVER winning.  Spending the night and having the most fun adventures with you.  The little parakeet I stuffed for you and you proudly displayed for years on your mantle.  Your shy smile and girlish giggle when someone said something embarrassing.  Playing for hours on the sun porch with the old school desk you had.  

Thank you for these memories and for touching my heart with an unconditional love and kindness that I can only hope to pass on to my children and grandchildren.

Thank you Grandma, for always being someone who was proud of us.  No matter what we did,  you were happy for us.  You celebrated our littlest victories and made us feel like we were Olympic Gold Medalists.  Your spirit is infectious.  Just a short time at your house or reading your letters, and all stress or anxiety of the world would melt away.  Never judging us or making us feel bad, you always smiled and supported.  The epitome of humbleness, grace, and love.  What more could a granddaughter ask for?  Never was a role model so great as you......

I will never forget you.  Ever.  

I'm so sorry I didn't visit or write more often.  You are truly loved and I miss you already.  Please say hi to grandpa for me and watch over me from your new home.  I wish you didn't have to leave us, but I know that where you are going is much better than anything here on Earth.

My children are blessed to have known you, even if only for a short while.  Your are truly loved.  Always.

Missing you,
Jenny.....

Forwarded Email

Below is an excerpt from an email I received from my mom today.  There were numerous stories, but this one really spoke to my heart....

A four-year-old child, whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman, who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's' yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.  When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy just said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry.'

Ahhhhhh.  Such sweetness in the naivety of children.  Sometimes that's all we really need:  someone to help us cry....

Change

On my way home from work, I passed a billboard that had the following message:  "you must be the change you wish to see in the world".  What a perfect phrase to end my day.
There are many things we could improve in life.  Not all of the issues are really a result of what usually catches the"heat" for them.  What if we all worked our tails off and made life great?!  Less blame and more action. 

Random thoughts of the day....

1.  I love/hate swype.  Sometimes I like to swype in words just to see what other words swype comes up with.

2.  Authority.  What does it mean? How do you get it?  Can it be forced?

3.  My Bible reading mentioned that stalling or hesitation is a form of disobedience.  I never really thought about that before, but I definitely agree.  Yikes, that puts a much higher standard on my obedience to God.

4.  The "cry it out" method is working out great for my littlest bug.  She slept from 9pm until 6 am last night.  A VAST improvement from the 1 hour stints she used to sleep.  Hoping last night wasn't a fluke!!!

Use Your Super-Powers for GOOD not EVIL

I think it must be exhausting to only find negative in every aspect of your life.
Maybe that's why these "negative Nancys" are always so crabby.....they are exhausted.
I know that when I don't have a good night's sleep, I'm crabbier the next day.
Perhaps the job of always seeing the glass as "half empty" is worse than having a month of sleepless nights.
That could possibly explain the crabbiness I notice in some colleagues these days.

I think we need to stop for a minute and examine what we have in our lives that is positive and we should be thankful for.  Life goes by too quickly to always focus on the negative.  Enjoy today.  Find joy in your life.  Be happy. 

To Do Before Feb. 16th!

I can hardly believe my littlest princess will be 1 in just over 1 month.
Here are the things I'd like to get ready before her joint birthday party with her cousin Piper who was born on the same day:
- Catch up on her scrapbook.
- Print out the blog entries of my pregnancy with Adrienne.
- Make a video / slideshow of her 1st year.
- Plan her party:
     *  invitations
     *  decor
     *  food / drinks
     *  coordinate with Amanda

Here are some things I'd like to get done in the next few days / weeks:
-  Thank You notes from the kiddos for Christmas gifts.
-  Save photos / videos from 2011
-  Finish gift for baby Lanie
-  Write MSTA article

Wish me luck.  I hope I can get some of these items checked off soon! :)