Realization ...

I had an epiphany the other day when thinking of how frustrating it is for me when Jake's 9-year-old attitude is snobby and hurts my feelings.  I get so hurt when he acts like he doesn't want to be with Nick, Ali, Adrienne, & I  ......

I thought of how Jake's attitude is so much like my own has sometimes been in terms of following God's will in my life.  I began thinking about how God must feel, having His own daughter not follow Him or do what He asks.  

It's strangely parallel to what I am experiencing with Jake.  And I'm not saying that I am flat-out meaning to defy God.  But perhaps I don't listen to His whispers to my heart as well as I could (or should).  

I thought of this again this morning as I was asking Jake to help me get things ready for church this morning and I asked him to get something off of a shelf.  He didn't listen to the details, he just opened the closet and started looking around, rummaging through things, making my closet a mess.  

How many times has God spoken to me but I've been too busy to listen to the details?  

How often have I "rummaged" through whatever it was He asked me to do and made a complete mess of it rather than listen to His guidance and followed it precisely?

Maybe I'm beginning to hear Him more or I'm learning how to listen better because I am definitely seeing myself through Jake's actions.  Perhaps I'm ungrateful for what God has given me.  (Nick & I often comment on how Jake seems ungrateful for many things and always expects people to do things or give him things.  And, while he is getting better, he is still quite often very ungrateful seeming.)  

Now I just need to keep listening to see what He wants me to do next.....

Finding the Energy....

Today a friend helped remind me to always find the energy to give Ali, Adrienne, and Jakey extra attention, love, snuggles, etc. She helped remind me to soak up every moment of the days with them that I can, while I can. Today would have been her daughter's 14th birthday. My friend lost her daughter 10 years ago, when she was just 4 years old. My heart aches for her. And my heart aches to think of that happening to me.

Read her blog entry here: ( http://jodyferlaak.blogspot.com/2011/03/she-got-her-wish.html )

Her sweet little daughter wished that she could stay 4 years old forever. And, in a very sad turn of events, she has stayed 4 forever in her mommy's memory. You can read the story of their tragic loss here. ( http://www.bethel.edu/publications-archive/focus/past-issues/spring-2003/teagan )

I hope that if you read her blog and the story of how they lost their little sweetie, it may inspire you to hold your loved ones a little bit longer today, to love them a little more, and to find that extra bit of energy to make lasting memories with them.

It has been a good reminder for me today, when I'm feeling so drained from early morning and late night feedings and a bit of colic from Adrienne and a bit of sass-i-tude from Alina and absent mindedness from Jakers. I wouldn't want it any other way and I am thanking God, especially today, for blessing me with the awesome responsibility of loving these angels-on-earth.

Feeling extra-blessed this morning and hoping you all take a moment to read her story.

I love you Jakey.

I love you Alina Claire.

I love you Adrienne Ruth.

Now and for always.......

XOXO
Mommy