How do I say goodbye???

Dearest Gma:
I just wanted you to know how dearly you are loved.  You are truly a woman of grace and have been a quiet, loving inspiration to everyone whom you've met.  You have been an idol of motherhood and your children all adore you.  You are amazing.  A true gift from God above.  I am glad that He will get to be with you soon, but I am so sad that my girls will never get to know you as I have.  I may not see you often, but you are always thought of with love and admiration.  I pray that when you get to Heaven, you will get to see Pa right away,  that you may have a joyful reunion.  I pray that your body be fixed from all pain and be restored, as the Bible says it will be.  I can only imagine you in Heaven, carefree, pain free. I am thankful that you are a woman of faith.  I have seen God working through you to touch those around you.  You are a kind, loving woman, and I have been blessed to call you my grandma.

I will never forget my childhood visits to your house on Sundays.  Chop suey, spaghetti, angel food cake, pickles, rolls; food has never tasted as good as when we ate at your house.  Gma I love you.  I love going to your house, playing your old piano, all out of tune.  Listening to your birds chirp and cackle away.  Walking to the pond and seeing new wonders of nature.  Salamanders in the woods.  A deer in the pond.  Geese that chased Amanda and bit the backs of her knees as she ran screaming to the house.  The little slide by the pond.  The old row boat.  The old dog "Blu" in the dog house.  The glider swing out back that we spent so many visits relaxing on.  Spinning in the cushy black chair that was Pa's.  Playing checkers with Pa and NEVER EVER winning.  Spending the night and having the most fun adventures with you.  The little parakeet I stuffed for you and you proudly displayed for years on your mantle.  Your shy smile and girlish giggle when someone said something embarrassing.  Playing for hours on the sun porch with the old school desk you had.  

Thank you for these memories and for touching my heart with an unconditional love and kindness that I can only hope to pass on to my children and grandchildren.

Thank you Grandma, for always being someone who was proud of us.  No matter what we did,  you were happy for us.  You celebrated our littlest victories and made us feel like we were Olympic Gold Medalists.  Your spirit is infectious.  Just a short time at your house or reading your letters, and all stress or anxiety of the world would melt away.  Never judging us or making us feel bad, you always smiled and supported.  The epitome of humbleness, grace, and love.  What more could a granddaughter ask for?  Never was a role model so great as you......

I will never forget you.  Ever.  

I'm so sorry I didn't visit or write more often.  You are truly loved and I miss you already.  Please say hi to grandpa for me and watch over me from your new home.  I wish you didn't have to leave us, but I know that where you are going is much better than anything here on Earth.

My children are blessed to have known you, even if only for a short while.  Your are truly loved.  Always.

Missing you,
Jenny.....

Realization ...

I had an epiphany the other day when thinking of how frustrating it is for me when Jake's 9-year-old attitude is snobby and hurts my feelings.  I get so hurt when he acts like he doesn't want to be with Nick, Ali, Adrienne, & I  ......

I thought of how Jake's attitude is so much like my own has sometimes been in terms of following God's will in my life.  I began thinking about how God must feel, having His own daughter not follow Him or do what He asks.  

It's strangely parallel to what I am experiencing with Jake.  And I'm not saying that I am flat-out meaning to defy God.  But perhaps I don't listen to His whispers to my heart as well as I could (or should).  

I thought of this again this morning as I was asking Jake to help me get things ready for church this morning and I asked him to get something off of a shelf.  He didn't listen to the details, he just opened the closet and started looking around, rummaging through things, making my closet a mess.  

How many times has God spoken to me but I've been too busy to listen to the details?  

How often have I "rummaged" through whatever it was He asked me to do and made a complete mess of it rather than listen to His guidance and followed it precisely?

Maybe I'm beginning to hear Him more or I'm learning how to listen better because I am definitely seeing myself through Jake's actions.  Perhaps I'm ungrateful for what God has given me.  (Nick & I often comment on how Jake seems ungrateful for many things and always expects people to do things or give him things.  And, while he is getting better, he is still quite often very ungrateful seeming.)  

Now I just need to keep listening to see what He wants me to do next.....

Reading

Ali has been reading books back to me lately after I read them to her.

A few nights ago we read the Mr. Mischief book. The way she said "Mr. Mischief" was so cute! She cracks me up!

She also amazes me with how well she tells back a story. She really listens and re-tells almost every detail.

I am so proud of her. 

In these pictures, she's reading to her baby sister, Adrienne.  She's such a good big sister! 

Sometimes I am worried (well, not sometimes, really. Actually it is almost always!) that I am not doing everything I can to activate and engage her brain. I constantly worry that I'm missing or forgetting something. But, in moments like these, she calms my heart and reminds me that I can't be a perfect mommy, but I am doing a pretty good job so far.

Ali has taught me so many things in her mere 2 1/2 years of life: patience, unrelenting all-consuming love, and faithfulness in God.

I can't imagine what more she'll teach me in the future, but I know she is a blessing straight from God, right into my arms & heart. <3

Coincidence???

There is a job that I really want at Macomb ISD: science consultant for K-12.

The position was posted in November 2010. I applied back at the beginning of January. I emailed the HR director and they received my materials. The position is still posted on the site. I've contemplated emailing again to show I'm still interested, but I'm worried I'll be on the border of annoying rather than interested.

I found out a few days ago that I won the Region 9 Director Position for the Michigan Science Teacher's Association (MSTA). It's a 3-year term and I'm very excited to have gotten it.

Our first meeting is April 8th-9th. When asking for more details on the meeting, I was put in touch with another director, Mike Klein. He's the CURRENT Macomb ISD science consultant & is retiring. He has the job I want!!!!!!!!!!!

Is it coincidence that I've just been put into contact with the guy whose job I desperately want or is it God's way of opening an opportunity for me?! When I realized who he is & that he works for Macomb ISD and that I'll be meeting him in a few weeks, I seriously thought about emailing him and asking about his replacement! I'm going to try to keep my crazy desire for his job under control, but I might have to scope out the situation when I'm in Lansing meeting him!

So crazy!!!

Baby Update

If you're interested at all................here's the news from my doctor's appointment today:
- I am almost 3 cm dilated
- 30% effaced
- When he checked me, he said he could feel the baby's head "right there", ready to come!
- He estimates just a few more days, but since she already tried to come a few weeks early, I bet she'll keep me waiting an extra few weeks now!
- I am completely off the medications to stop the pre-term labor! (VERY exciting news for me!)
- I have pregnancy-induced high blood pressure, so I have been restricted again to laying on my left-side for most of the day. He doesn't want me doing as much as I have (which honestly hasn't been very much) and he wants me on my left side as much as possible throughout the day. Uck.
- Had my stress-test today to see how baby's holding up in there. It took longer than usual because it was so relaxing in there, I kept almost falling asleep and then baby-girl would not be active and they'd have to keep riling us up so they could get her movements / heart rates and such. Figures, when I'm not in pain and would LOVE to sleep, they keep waking me up! :)

All-in-all a good appointment. The high BP explains the headaches I've had recently! I'm supposed to keep an eye on it and make sure it doesn't get too high or that I don't have a crazy amount of swelling. That's actually been pretty low for me this time which I was excited about, so I'll definitely be watching for it. Now I'm just waiting for the "real thing" contractions to start. I've had lots of "practice" ones and doctor says they are doing their job, but now I just need the "REAL" ones! :)

Finally, I'd just like to thank everyone for their prayers and well-wishes throughout this time. It's been a scary time for me, thinking she was going to come just past 34 weeks. I know that all of the prayers you've been sending up for us have kept her under God's care and kept her inside for even just these 2.5 weeks longer. I'm just so excited to actually be able to have my baby in my hospital room with me and even to take her home with me when I am discharged. That's something I was never able to do with Ali, so I am very excited and hope to be able to do that with this baby "A". Can't wait to meet her, love on her, and to SHOW HER OFF!!!

Not even my wisest plan!!!

1 Corinthians 1:25:
This foolish plan of God is wiser than the wisest of human plans, and God’s weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength.

Just found this verse in an old post I had made when Nick lost his job. Seemed like a good fit for me to think of today as I anxiously await baby's arrival. I thought it might happen last night since I was having lots of strong, timeable contractions. But then, after almost 2 hours, they all of a sudden stopped.

Baby "A" is just teasing me now! I have a feeling she's going to be just as sassy {or maybe even MORE sassy, if that's possible} than her big sister. Oh my, I better start praying for patience now! :)

Thought of the Day....

When updating my Bible Study's website (The Truth Seekers - Check it out if you're interested), I came across this question from our devotional for the week:

What keeps us from living courageously? How can we overcome these obstacles?
We mostly talked about how mostly we are concerned with what other people think of us, that they won't like us or will reject us if we do things that aren't the "popular" or "easy" choice. Someone also commented on the fact that it's almost a lack of self-esteem that keeps us from living courageously in Christ. Almost like we aren't good enough or smart enough to do the things we feel in our heart. Those things that we feel tugging at our heart may just very well be the things that God wants us to do in life and often times those things may seem "too big" for us. Then we moved on to the 2nd part of the question:

How can we overcome these obstacles?
Answers we talked about could be that we could overcome them by praying, spending time in God's word, and stepping out in faith; taking a risk / leap!

But, the part that is really sticking out in my mind today (perhaps this is something God wants me to do and that's why He's keeping it in the forefront of my mind) is something one of the ladies said: We should see ourselves through God's eyes and see the value we have according to Him. This would likely solve a lot of our problems if we were able to do this........see ourselves as a beautiful, gifted child with many talents and capabilities. Have confidence in ourselves to do the right things and to lead a life that is pleasing to Him. So, that's my challenge for myself (and for you, if you're willing)....try to see in yourself the gifts that God has given you; picture yourself as HE sees you, as He created you; find the confidence and courage to live courageously!!!